Want to talk dirty with your partner but feeling anxious about where to begin?
Take it from me — someone who knows the struggle is real — this is how you do it, when you are… well, doing it.
Done well, dirty talk is validating. It’s fun, sexy, empowering, and can help you have better, more plasurable sex.
Done wrong, it can actually kill the moment.
In a 2020 survey, 1 in 5 participants reported stopping sex in the act because their partner’s “sexy” talk turned them off.
You don’t have to be an erotica novelist to crush the dirty talk game. All you need is a little confidence, a willing partner, and this dirty talk guide.
Dirty talk is about telling your partner that you want them, that you need them, that you enjoy what they’re doing, that, yep, this is what you want.
Sometimes during sex, I have quite the dirty mouth. Before we get going I aways want to see how the guy feels about that. I just ask, “Do you enjoy dirty talking during sex?” — Shawna, 29
Talking dirty includes everything from likes and dislikes to fantasies and excitement. Flirting. Complimenting. Saying all the little things that help your partner feel loved and desired.
The word “dirty” is all about context. Maybe it’s taboo or maybe it’s the adrenaline that kicks in, but for many people, the feeling of doing something bad makes them feel extra naughty.
Scroll down for the best dirty talking examples you can use with your lover.
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1. Their name
Guys love it when a girl says their name during sex. It lets him know you’re thinking about him and not fantasizing about your ex. Men like to know that it’s their hunka-hunka-burnin’-love that can satisfy you… and no one else’s.
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2. Tight
Every girl wants to feel like she’s the tightest her guy has ever been with. It denotes a virginal, desirable quality that speaks to us on some primal level.
While you certainly don’t have to have the nearly impenetrable vagina for a guy to think you’re hot stuff, there’s something about your guy telling you how tight you are down there that’s a total turn on.
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3. Love
Whether you’re hearing your partner say they love you in an intimate moment, or they’re simply revealing that they love your breasts, love the way you moan, or love that signature move you do – it all becomes hot.
“Right there, I love the way you feel!”
This is because when said in a sexual situation, love denotes the ultimate passion. You don’t get more intense than saying you love something!
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4. Wet
Where you can see an erect penis, telling your guy how wet he’s making you is like sharing a naughty little secret.
“You make me so wet.”
This is something that can’t be seen that establishes how turned on you are.
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5. Deep
Who doesn’t love the term deep when it comes to dirty talk? Deep is a non-offensive term that can be used in plenty of dirty phrases. For example:
“I want you deep inside me.”
“Take it deep in your throat.”
This term makes you man feel like he has a huge dick that’s pleasing every inch you have to give, and it also makes a girl feel like she’s being completely filled by pleasure. What can we say… it’s just hot.
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6. Cock
This is one of those words that surprisingly women seem to enjoy more than men… and actually prefer it over dick, penis, and prick. Regardless, this one is usually a crowd pleaser.
Ignoring the chicken-like attribution, cock borders on a taboo synonym that seems bad, naughty, and powerful.
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7. Need
Men and women universally want to feel wanted, especially in the sack. We want to know that we’re the only one who could ever possibly pleasure you this much or make you come this hard. Need is a word that creates a powerful word picture.
Phrases like “I need your body,” “I need you inside me,” or “I need to put my hands on you” convey a powerful, lusty desperation that’s almost too hot to handle without using any explicit words!
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8. Cum
An orgasm, or “cumming” denotes the height of passion when you’re between the sheets, so there’s no surprise that this is an equally beloved term for both sexes.
While you don’t know what another person’s orgasm feels like, when they utter the phrase “I’m going to come” you know they’re about to head into pleasurable bliss.
At the same time, hearing the phrase “Cum for me” is powerful because it implies someone wants to make us feel good.
This sexy word is one of the single most exciting terms on the list because it coveys something arousing and mysterious all in one go.
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9. Pussy
No surprise, many women use the word pussy when it comes to naming their vaginas. Vagina is too clinical to sound hot in the heat of the moment. And “cunt” is just offensive. But “pussy” with its kitty-cat connotations was a safe and sexy word that women love.
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10. Good
Listen, you don’t have go to full XXX with your dirty talk if you’re not comfortable. Keep it suggestive and flirty if that’s what feels right for you.
If going straight to the deep end is too much, a simple “I want you so bad” or “you feel so good” is a great way to ease yourself into the dirty talk pool.
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11. Hard
Even the most basic words, when referring to sexual excitement, can get us into a horny spell. Take the word “hard” for example. “It’s hard,” “I can feel you getting hard,” and “put that hard dick inside me” are all hot phrases. As long as the context is sexual, this quickly becomes one of those sexy words people can’t get enough of.
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12. Fuck
There really are fewer dirty talk words hotter than this one during sex. Say it. Yell it. Swear it.
Let your partner know the intensity of your pleasure with this wonderful little word. Conveying your pleasure in this way can turn your partner on, and the expression of this word can help break any emotional tension that might exist, making for a more intimate experience.
It’s not just about knowing the sexy words to use when you’re talking dirty to your partner, it’s about knowing how to do it too.
You can do dirty talk well, or you can do it very badly indeed. Perhaps that’s why so many people are a little apprehensive about trying it for the first time!
Most important: Don’t overthink it.
Can you come up with an elaborate fantasy featuring handcuffs, a fire-breathing dragon, and a multi-orgasmic sex session? Sure, if that’s the kind of thing you and your partner enjoy.
You can also just describe what you’re doing or what you wish you were doing.
Good sex and good communication are intertwined. After all, no matter how good they are, your lover isn’t a mind reader. Everyone has different preferences, turn-ons, and turn-offs. Communicating exactly what we want and we you like makes everything better.
If you’re looking to expand your sexy talk dialogue in the bedroom, here’s
