Every woman wants to drive her man wild in the bedroom. Whatās hotter than sexing a guy so good, he has to go live in the woods because he doesnāt know how society works anymore? Thereās nothing like pushing a guy past what he can psychologically handle so that he lives the rest of his life as an invalid. Pluck the sanity right out of your manās frontal lobe with these scorching tips:
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Hot and Cold
Slip an ice cube into your mouth before going down on your man for a powerful sensation thatāll knock him back to the cognitive abilities of a toddler. Youāll send an icy-hot shiver up his spine that will make its way to his brain and ruin it forever.
Squeeze to Please
Clench your vaginal muscles during sex, and grip his penis with a tight squeeze! Heāll be moaning for more, and for his mother, and for his commanding officer. Thatās right: The pussy grip triick will have him thinking heās back in āNam. He never even went to āNam! Heās 27!
Give him a humming blowjob
Humans have evolved to fear buzzing sounds, as they can indicate an earthquake, a cloud of insects, or an orgasm so intense it shatters your mind into a million pieces. When youāre giving him a blowjob, simply start humming any tune. Hum louder and louder. Itāll be the last song he hears before becoming completely locked in for the rest of his life. You know, locked in? Where someone is conscious but canāt move or communicate at all? You get it!
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Massage his glutes
Guys hold a lot of tension in their large muscle groups. Knead your knuckles into the sides of his hips and heāll release everything ā especially the rage heās kept carefully repressed for decades. Soon heāll be acting out in ways that put his old dad in the loony bin back in the fifties. Do they still call it that? Insanity is hot!
Stroke his prostate
Itās well into the new millennium, and straight guys are evolved enough to enjoy a little backdoor action. Carefully insert a finger inside him until you feel a little walnut-shaped knot, and stroke it back and forth until half his face permanently collapses into an emotionless shell. Even years of electroconvulsive therapy wonāt rewire the severed connections in his brain.
Two-hand twist his shaft
The next time you go down on your guy, twist your hands in opposite directions along his member. This move wonāt only give your mouth a break and increase his pleasure; itāll also make him feel so good, heāll be completely disoriented and terrified of what is happening. After this move, he wonāt even know his own name! Not knowing his own name will make his life very difficult.
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Pretend to be a sexy stranger
Rekindle your āsparkā next to the powder keg that is āeverything he holds to be trueā by donning a sexy disguise. Your comforting assertions that, āItās just Kerry, Dan; itās me, Kerry!ā will fall on deaf ears ā Kerry is definitely not a redhead French maid! Kerry is Kerry! Who are you? Nothing says ākeeping it freshā like calling your brother-in-law for help in the middle of the night.
However you do it, thereās nothing like scrambling your manās mind forever. Heāll be thanking you for a long, long time!