Men from all walks of life pride themselves on the size of their dicks and how long they last in bed, Everybody knows, bigger is better, and the guy who can fuck all night is King.

I mean, who wants to be the One Minute Man? Nobody, that’s who.

Unfortunately, porn has exaggerated expectations for how long sex should last, so that even those of us who can hold out for a respectable amount of time still feel legitimate anxiety about cumming too soon.

how to last longer during sex
How long should sex last? Seven to thirteen minutes is ideal for most couples.

In truth, most men shouldn’t worry about their sexual endurance. The consensus among sex therapists seems to be that most couples think seven-to-13 minutes of penis-in-vagina penetration is desirable, but that three to seven minutes is completely adequate.

By now it should be common knowledge that foreplay is often far more important for good sex than a long slog of pure pumping. In fact, for a number of women, more than ten minutes of jackhammer action is just too much.

But at some point in their lives at least a third of men suffer from premature ejaculation, regularly finishing within one minute of penetrative sex. More suffer from “rapid ejaculation,” in which they cum faster than it takes them or their partner to feel satisfied. Harry Fisch, author of the book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups, found an astonishing 45 percent of men fall into this group.

While some men say they can solve this by just using a condom to reduce sensitivity, this doesn’t seem to work for everyone, and may be otherwise undesirable for some couples. Other solutions, like SSRI antidepressants or Lidocaine-based sprays and wipes, can truly help men last longer and feel better about their sex lives, but both can have unpleasant side effects.

Because these methods just aren’t right for everyone, here are a few little-known, natural things that help you last longer in bed that you probably didn’t know.

Masturbate before having sex
This is the easiest go-to technique that most guys know and do. Masturbating an hour or 30 minutes before lets you release that pent-up arousal that leads you to finishing quickly.

When a guy ejaculates, it releases endorphins which regulate your body’s functions to a more relaxed state giving you more control of your man parts. Also, releasing that sexual energy through masturbation gives you time to build it up again through foreplay, making you last longer.

The Squeeze
The “squeeze” is a little trick where you press on either the base of your penis or on your perineum *the patch of skin between the scrotum and anus* when you feel you’re about to come. This trick produces variable results but helps you to reduce the urge to ejaculate. It will not work the first time around, so practice finding the right spot to put pressure on.

Kegel exercises aren’t just for women or those with bladder problems — they can help treat men with lifelong premature ejaculation. Kegels are a set of exercises that focus on the pelvic muscles. When you contract and relax your muscles around your pelvis, the pubococcygeus muscle of your pelvis get stronger over time. That helps you get rock hard erections, and gives you better control of your ejaculation.

Control your breathing
Breathing plays a big part in controlling your ejaculation. If you’re on the verge of ejaculation and want to hold it back, focus on your breathing and try to release your breath slowly through your mouth in a controlled manner when you’re inside her.

Your partner may assume you won’t be able to last long and may try to finish up really fast. If you want to make sex last longer, let your partner know. Both of you should take it slow and easy and communicate at the same time about when to stop moving or when to slow down further.

As hard as you try, you will need some help from your woman to make sex last longer!

Try new sex positions
Some sex positions will stimulate you faster and make you orgasm really fast, while some positions can help you last a lot longer. The missionary position is a safe one, but a few unconventional positions may just help you better. But you’ll never know what works until you try.

Yes, it’s true that cumming too soon is frustrating. Just use these tips to last longer during sex and it’ll be better!