How to Give a Good BJ

Because when it comes to giving head, everyone should be thoroughly enjoying themselves.

how to give a good bj

There’s this crazy assumption that a woman who’s great in bed will automatically know how to make oral sex an incredible experience for her man. That’s just not true.

No one becomes an expert without a little trial and error, and it’s the same with oral sex as it is with anything else.

It’s like cooking an incredible meal — even if you follow a recipe, along the way you learn how to add your own nuances and adjustments to make him crave it even more.

WATCH: How Mastering the Art of Blowjobs Makes Any Man Addicted to You

When I wanted to teach myself to give better blowjobs, I went straight to porn.

I’m a visual learner. Plus, I figured if anyone knew how to suck a dick, it would be the girls who do it professionally.

And it worked. I learned a lot. I saw techniques that I could practice on my husband’s cock.

I made a mental note of all the things that looked sexy as hell so I could try them on my own. I noticed the way some girls made themselves seem extra submissive when they were going down.

But there’s one thing I saw over and over that I had no interest in doing. If you watch porn, you can probably guess what that is. Deepthroating. Or more specifically, gagging.

I can very much appreciate a very smooth deepthroat — the kind where a girl makes a cock completely disappear and acts like it’s nothing. But the moment I hear the gag reflex at work, it turns me off. The sound alone makes me want to pull my panties back on and go do something wholesome with my time.

It’s so prevalent in porn that it’s easy to think that it’s essential for a good blowjob — that you can’t give amazing head unless the cock is blocking your airways.

And it doesn’t help that a lot of articles that give blowjob tips will encourage you to take it all the way to the balls. They’ll even tell you it’s easy — that all you have to do is relax your throat and squeeze your thumb to turn off your gag reflex.

Well, let me tell you, there are lots of things that make a blowjob unforgettable that have nothing to do with how deep you take it.

Show Your Enthusiasm

It’s not gagging and deepthroating that sets real knob slobs apart from your average cocksucker. It’s the enthusiasm they show when there’s a dick in their mouths.

I actually think that’s a big part of the appeal with deepthroating. It’s not just the fantasy of cramming the entire length of a cock in between those lips — it’s the way a girl who deepthroats looks like she just can’t get enough of it.

Sucking cock enthusiastically doesn’t always change the sensations, and that’s okay. What really matters is that it’s going to be a huge turn-on — for you and for the guy you’re blowing.

And unlike throating a dick, showing enthusiasm is actually easy to do.

You can do it by talking dirty to him. Tell him you want to feel his cock in your mouth. Take his dick out of your mouth just long enough to tell him how much you love sucking him off.

If you’re too shy to say anything filthy when you’re going down, that’s okay too. Letting out some horny moans while you’re going at it is enough to show him that you’re really in the moment.

Initiating the blowjob is another great way to show enthusiasm. Undo his pants mid-foreplay and take him in your mouth. Or surprise him with some impromptu head when he’s least expecting it.

Basically, anything you do that makes it clear he’s not the only one enjoying the blowjob is going to make it ten times better.

Drool Like You Have Absolutely No Manners

It’s not like I ever gave dry blowjobs or anything, but my blowjob game was definitely a bit too tidy.

I didn’t want to make a mess. If any drool slid down the shaft of my husband’s cock, I’d start thinking about having to change the sheets. And that’s the kind of unsexy thought I don’t want going through my head when I’m giving head.

A little part of me also hesitated because the thought of going in full drool mode made me feel embarrassed. It’s not exactly ladylike, yaknow.

But that was exactly the problem. I don’t want to suck cock like a lady — I want to do it like a dirty girl. And dirty girls are messy. They’re sloppy. They drool and slobber on a cock like they’re starving for it.

That’s really fucking hot. It makes sucking dick easier, too — the wetter his shaft, the easier you can slide it across your lips.

Best of all, it’s going to drive him wild. All that drool is going to feel really fucking good on his cock and enhance all the stimulation your mouth is giving him.

In fact, that’s one of the reasons people say they love gaggy blowjobs so much. Throating a cock means lots of saliva and some extremely wet action. If you let yourself get really sloppy, you can recreate some of those sensations without getting your gag reflex involved.

And if you have a hard time getting things wet enough, I highly recommend using flavored lube.

I mean, fuck it, I’ll recommend it even if your mouth is a drool factory. The flavors are so fun and they taste better than plain dick. And the extra lubrication is always a plus.

And if you’re worried about the sheets like I was, then you should definitely consider buying a waterproof sex blanket. Laying one down before you fuck means you can get as messy as you want. You’ll be able to squirt, get pounded hard, and suck him so eagerly that your saliva drips off his balls and you still won’t have to change the sheets.

That way, you can go nuts and the only thing you have to think about is what a good girl you’re being.

Be Super Fucking Playful

Blowjobs should be fun — and they really are when you let yourself play around.

Sucking a dick is great. Giving it some licks is good too. But really good blowjobs tend to be very playful.

It’s fine to go in with a few moves that you plan to use. Maybe you’ve even got a kick-ass cocksucking technique you use every single time. And that’s totally awesome. But you should also freestyle a bit.

Play around. Do whatever you think would be fun. Try to come up with new ways to make his cock feel good.

Sometimes, that’s better than having a really effective technique.

Because, look, a blowjob is never going to be boring — taking a cock in your mouth is a classic for a reason. But when they’re predictable, they can start to lose their excitement.

That’s why being playful makes such a big difference. Every blowjob is going to feel fun and unique.

Watching Cherry Crush give head taught me that it can be really hot to just treat the cock like a toy you’re playing with. It’s sweet. It’s cute. And it’s highly stimulating too.

If it helps, you can even give yourself little challenges. Like, try to suck him off without using your hands. Or see how fast you can go and keep it going as long as you can.

And it’s okay if it’s completely silly. Sex doesn’t have to be serious, and sucking cock definitely doesn’t. Believe me, some of the hottest blowjobs involve plenty of giggles.

Make His Balls Feel Included

The balls get pretty lonely during a typical blowjob.

You’ll focus a lot of what you’re doing on the head of the cock because that’s where the most sensitive parts are.

You’ll also give his shaft some action because, well, most of his cock is the shaft.

The balls, though, are at the bottom of his totem pole. They feel kind of extra.

And that’s okay because they’re technically not essential. You can give really good head without either of his balls going into your mouth.

But the fact is that your guy loves his balls. He’s very fond of his package and the balls are an important part of it. So, it’s going to really turn him on when you show his balls some love.

There are some good physical sensations that he’ll appreciate, too.

But I’m willing to guess that most guys are into it because they just find it really fucking hot. Licking and sucking the balls is what a dirty girl does — and everyone wants to fuck a dirty girl.

I know slobbering on balls isn’t every girl’s idea of a good time.

It might not be so appealing if your guy doesn’t shave his balls, for one thing.

And some of us just don’t care for a mouthful of nuts, no matter how smooth he keeps them.

If that’s the case, you can still give your blowjob a boost by cupping and stroking his balls with your hands. A gentle tug might also drive him wild, but that’s very much an individual thing — some dudes even find a soft pull or squeeze way too uncomfortable.

Lick His Happy Spot

The head of his cock is where the blowjob magic happens. But there’s one specific spot that you should know about if you want to really get him off.

It’s the frenulum. That’s the little triangular patch of skin on the underside of his head, right where it meets the shaft.

It doesn’t look like much. You might not have ever paid much attention to it. But that’s his happy spot.

On most guys, it’s the most sensitive part of the dick.

That means giving his frenulum some nice, wet licks is going to give him more pleasure than just about anything else you can do with your mouth.

You’ll stimulate it with a lot of things you’re doing anyway, like pumping his cock into your mouth and sucking on the head of it.

But giving it some occasional focused attention is going to take your cocksucking up a notch or two and make you feel like a real blowjob queen.

Try All Sorts of Positions

Lots of couples love to switch up their sex positions to keep the pounding interesting. But people tend to stick to one or two standard ones for oral sex.

And that’s cool. There’s nothing wrong with figuring out a really comfortable position and going back to it.

But blowing him in different positions is a really good way to make your blowjobs feel less routine.

You don’t even need to use any complicated ones or bend your body in uncomfortable shapes — you just have to change it up so it always feels fresh.

Have him stand at the edge of the bed while you lie on your stomach — that way you’re giving him great head and a really good view of your ass.

Go for the classic good girl position and get on your knees to give his cock some attention.

Lay your head on his stomach and give him a lazy girl blowjob.

Straddle his face while you blow him for some really satisfying mutual oral sex.

Blow him while he’s sitting, while he’s standing, while he’s laying down, while he’s lying on his side — it doesn’t really matter, because you’re varying things up instead of just going through the motions.

If He’s a Perfect Gentleman, Ask Him to Fuck Your Face

There’s another reason some guys are really into girls who deepthroat and gag on a cock. They love it because it makes them feel more dominant.
Men get turned on by the idea of being in charge. They don’t just want the pleasure of getting a blowjob — they want to enjoy the control that comes with using your mouth.

That’s something you can give them without having to gag even once. Because there are lots of ways to give a submissive blowjob that don’t involve you taking it all the way in.

The best one is to ask him to facefuck you. That’s going to put all the power and control in his hands and his cock — and all you have to do is open your mouth for him.

There’s one big caveat, though. Only do this if you fully trust him not to take things too far.

If he’s the kind of guy who might get carried away or push past your boundaries, then it’s better to do all the work yourself.

I let my husband fuck my mouth because I know he’ll never push his dick all the way to the back of it. Most of the time, he just fucks my lips with the head of his cock, even though he knows my mouth can take a bit more.

And that’s really fucking hot for both of us.

So, if he’s a perfect gentleman and would never dare to fuck your throat without explicit permission, then go ahead and invite him to get as close to doing it as you’re comfortable.

You Can Still Suck Him Like a Pornstar

Gagging is really common in porn and it’s very noticeable when you come across it. Because of that, it’s easy to think that all porn blowjobs are deep and look uncomfortable.

But they’re not. Watch enough porn and you’ll see different blowjob styles.

You’ll see some girls suck cock the way Lacy Lennon does — right down to the balls, with a few tears running down her face.

But you’re also going to see girls who suck eagerly and enthusiastically without ever deepthroating.

They look hot as fuck doing it, too. They have incredible technique. And I’m frankly amazed that the guys they blow can last more than 90 seconds without busting their loads.

So, don’t worry about deepthroating. You can give a pornstar level blowjob without it. All you have to do is keep it exciting, sloppy, and extremely playful.